Writing on Motherhood, Middlescence and Me

Motherhood brings on change. Change to every aspect of the people involved, particularly  with the mother’s physical, emotional, social, mental and economic state. She is faced with new challenges and quickly must learn to problem-solve and multi-task.

 

The mother finds her rhythm by learning to dance on a shifting carpet. She starts to regain her strength and the tired fog of relentlessness starts to dissipate. Her children are also venturing into the world and exploring their place in society. They play, create and make mistakes. They explore, investigate and discover. They feed, make a mess and sleep. They fuss, throw tantrums and forgive. They cuddle, giggle and bring so much unconditional love into the home. They are pure joy.

 

There is a brief lull, when the mother can sit back and relish a deserved cup of respite. And then it changes again.

 

They stretch like toffee and become clumsy in their new size. They start making their own decisions and voicing their opinions. These discussions are welcome as it is an opportunity to discover who this new generation is. They are misunderstood and often given bad press because they are on hold. They are complex and full of angst, but they have morals and are grounded. Their life has an added layer of stress that my cohort never encountered; social media. They are on trial in all their waking hours which force feeds their self-consciousness and bloats them into shame.

 

There is a brief lull, when the mother can sit back and relish a deserved cup of respite. And then it changes again.

 

The angst is cranked up and full-blown adolescence rears its ugly head. The children’s needs are more convoluted and demand full attention and undivided support. As each tidal wave of emotions hits the mother’s shore of stability, it ebbs away stealing a piece of her. It only slightly corrodes this solid rock because she needs to persevere and withstand the fiercest of storms to protect her children so they will flourish as the new generation.

 

There is a brief lull, when the mother can sit back and relish a deserved cup of respite. And then it changes again.

 

A second adolescence rears its ugly head. With all the mother’s maturity, experience and wisdom, she should have forecast this new chapter that is written for her. She is now in the middle of her life and this middlesecent stage runs uncannily parallel to her children’s adolescent phase. She is now in the invisible limelight and reluctantly plays the protagonist without a script. This new space she finds herself in, feels familiar and she thinks she may have been here before on a menstrual cycle basis. She therefore reasons that she should be able to control her confused and unpredictable moods. She should be able to conquer the unfamiliar maudlin and pathetic state of mind. She should feel empowered by what she has accomplished. She needs to improvise. She has to find her rhythm by learning a new dance on a shifting carpet to an unheard tune. Sometimes the curtain falls while she is in full swing and other times, the spotlight shines too bright.

 

There is a brief lull, when the mother can sit back and relish a deserved cup of respite. And then it changes again.

 

She finds the correct setting for the lighting and re-programmes it to ‘Me Time’. She slowly settles back into her former self. Is it worth questioning what just happened?

 

There is a brief lull, when the mother can sit back and relish a deserved cup of respite. And then it changes again.

 

Coming soon….

© Angele Lautier

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